Finding Hope in a Tough Situation
Yesterday, I made a NAMI In Our Own Voice presentation at Crestwood Behavioral Health Facility. The clients of the inpatient facility are mostly in crisis, and have been placed in the facility unwillingly. Walking in, I realized that this was the picture of mental illness that most people have. There were people talking to themselves in corners, yelling at nothing visible to anyone but them, and often heavily medicated. During the course of the presentation, I developed a connection with one of the patients. She heard voices, and was very sad and lonely, having been placed there by her family. We connected over military service. I told her that I was in the Army and a combat veteran. It turns out that her father was also a combat veteran. After the presentation, I sat with her for a minute and just let her talk. I can’t pretend that I understood everything she talked about, but I got the point. She felt deserted by her family, and had very little hope for her future. I grabbed her hand, and told her that as long as she was in Crestwood, working with her doctors, and working on things nothing was over. She teared up, and simply said ” I hope that’s true”. I shared a little bit of my personal story with her, and told her that the difference between where she is now and where she can be is hope. Sometimes hope is all you have. That said, hope is enough. While schizophrenia and PTSD are very different situations, the core of the problem is the same. One of the things that we have learned from NAMI is that “we will never give up hope”. When I left Crestwood yesterday, the woman I had been sitting with walked out of the training room with a little more confidence than she had when she walked in. I think she just needed to see that progress is possible, and she needed someone to tell her that she can do it. She saw PTSD basically destroy her father, which undoubtedly had an effect on her. She was so pure and beautiful, and simply scared. I remember being there once myself, unsure of what was going to happen after my crisis or how I was ever going to climb out of the darkness and regain my life. It was important for me to see someone in crisis, it reminded me of what can happen if I don’t continue to fight, and work towards my recovery. It was an absolutely eye opening experience.
PTSD is not a death sentence. Sometimes it is hard to deal with, but we have to continue the fight. Crisis is one step in a series of steps that lead to an awakening, the critical first step in recovery. I admit that recently I have been a little complacent in my own recovery, maybe even a little lazy. My visit to Crestwood reminded me that I can’t let that happen. The lady that I talked to is at the beginning of a long journey, but I pray for her that she finds the hope necessary to endure it, and overcome it with some help. For every sunken ship, there a thousand more still sailing. I have been in the thick of this fight for almost ten years. Little moments like my visit to Crestwood and talking to the residents there make me realize what hope is all about. Always remember: We’re in this together and never give up hope.
-J.R.
We’ve come a long way, baby.
We’ve been thinking a lot lately about what are next moves are going to be. Just a few years ago, we were both on different career paths – I was running art galleries and JR was going to school to be a history teacher. But then, PTSD Happened. Everyone is familar with the famous SH*T Happens…for us it was PTSD happens. It caught us by surprise, took us for a whirlwind, and changed our lives. Was PTSD present before the whirlwind? Yes, sure it was, but did we call it PTSD? Nope. Instead, we just thought it was part of the combat or ETS process that JR was going through. We thought that the glimpses we were seeing would pass. But of course, our denial got the better of us and eventually PTSD hit us smack in the face.
But here’s the really cool part – we got through the breakdown. We got through what was probably the worst situation we had ever experienced together, as a couple, and made it through to a recovery process. Don’t get us wrong, PTSD is very much a part of our life… sometimes a part of our daily life. It never really goes away. But how we deal with it has changed. We don’t deny it, we don’t let it win, and we certainly aren’t going to let it put us into another breakdown situation.
The amazing thing about PTSD is how it has impacted us post-breakdown. We became active in our own recovery. We did this as a couple – we attended therapy together, we went to support groups together, we went on several vacations together – we learned to communicate openly and with little reserve. We joined every local organization involved with veterans and started engaging with the veteran and mental health community. We started The PTSD Diary and we started to become PTSD/TBI/Veteran/Mental Health advocates. Honestly, we didn’t try to do this on purpose, or really with a purpose, but it became all consuming and we couldn’t deny our passion for it. We just couldn’t ignore this new calling. I decided to go back to school and get my Masters of Social Work program with the University of Southern California so that I can become a therapist and help others dealing with PTSD. I graduate in August with my MSW with a concentration in mental health and military social work and can’t wait to find a job that fits our interests. JR is still going to school to get a history degree (really, it was just to late to change it without adding more years), but plans on entering into the same MSW program to become a therapist as well and work with the veteran population. He also works with NAMI teaching Peer-to-Peer classes, facilitating support groups, and public speaking with their In Our Own Voice Program. We both try to stay up to date on the latest PTSD info – both for the PTSD Diary, but also for our own recovery and education. For better or worse, PTSD is a part of our every day life and the best way we know how to deal with it is to embrace it and make it work for us.
So what does the future look like? While we wish we could predict everything, we know we can’t. What we do know is that we are both going forward to get our degrees to become legitmate experts in the field and looking for the best avenue for us to help others that deal with PTSD. We hope to see the PTSD Diary grow – we don’t really know how, but we know that it’s helped us to do it. We want to start going to PTSD/military/blog conferences so we can start networking with others in person and learn new and innovated ways to put PTSD on the forefront. We are so thankful for the online community that we have found via Facebook, Twitter, organizations and websites. It’s become our passion, and for that reason, we are thankful for how PTSD has changed our lives.
The best advice we can give to you, no matter where you are in your own understanding of PTSD or in your own recovery, is that never give up hope and never stop. One of my favorite quotes is “Life’s a Journey, not a destination” and we’re pretty excited to find out where this PTSD journey is going to take us. Three years ago I never thought we would be doing as well as we are now. We just want you all to know that there is light on the other side of the tunnel and we wish the best for all of you on your future journeys.
~ Nicole
Courage Cakes Giveaway!
Enter our Courage Cakes Giveaway today!
We blogged about Courage Cakes on Thursday with our our post, “Courage Cakes: Our Product Review & Giveaway (Coming Soon!)“. Well here it is, the giveaway! The contest ends on Friday, May 18th and the winner will be announced May 19th. Thank you to Courage Cakes for providing this giveaway for our readers. See below to enter and win a Courage Cake, 3 pack refill and a keepsake lid!
Courage Cakes:
Our Product Review & Giveaway (Coming Soon!)
We were recently contacted by a new company called Courage Cakes, who offered to send us their product so we could try it out and review it for our readers. Usually we are a little hesitant to take people up on a product review, but when we explored their website we thought, “This might be a good fit for us!” They also offered to do a Courage Cake giveaway with our readers, so we just couldn’t resist. To understand why we were initially drawn to the product, let us explain…
JR in Iraq 2005.
Check out Our Story for how JR and I met after I sent him a care package. During JR’s second tour in Iraq in 2005, I sent him two care packages, with the second one being for his birthday. Although many people send baked goods, I had read that they may not reach the soldier and was hesitant to make him a cake or cookies. So instead, I found a prepackaged cake at the grocery store that only needed to be microwaved and sent that. JR said that the cake didn’t taste very good, but it was the thought that counts and he loved that I sent it to him. What is so cool about Courage Cakes (and a vast improvement from what you can get at the grocery store) is that their microwavable cakes not only have cute & ready to ship packaging that is PERFECT to send in care packages, but it actually taste good!
What we received from Courage Cakes
Courage Cakes come in three different flavors: Veteran Vanilla, Yellow Ribbon, & Fearless Fudge. We were sent Yellow Ribbon and Fearless Fudge and both were fantastic! The instructions are simple: you just add water (2.5 tablespoons, that’s it!) and microwave for 45 seconds. We don’t get the science of how it works, but the cake comes out perfectly spongy, full of flavor and taste like a homemade cake! The glass jar does get a little hot (we admit, we didn’t wait for it to cool and just wanted to dig in) so we wrapped a paper towel around it. You also have a cute jar for a keepsake. As you can see below, JR looks pretty happy!
JR enjoying "Yellow Ribbon"
We love the story behind Courage Cakes too. It “was started by six University of Washington business students in Seattle, Washington with the goal of keeping its customers closer to the ones they love by offering a simple taste of home.” They also believe in philanthropy, so for every Courage Cake that is purchased, they donate one to Operation Gratitude, a non-profit that sends care packages to troops overseas. So really, Courage Cakes are a win-win product in our opinion – your loved one gets an easy good tasting cake and another military member overseas will get one too. And you don’t just have send it to a loved one overseas… you can send it to anyone – might be perfect to give your veteran for Veteran’s Day! Interested in just doing a donation? You also have the option to just buy one Courage Cake for donation and the company will send two instead!
COURAGE CAKES GIVEAWAY COMING SOON!
Our Courage Cakes Giveaway will start Saturday May 12th! Check out our Facebook page and Twitter for Updates! Or come back to our blog Saturday to enter!
Watch the video below to see how the product works:
*If you have a product you’d like us to review, you can email us at PTSDdiary@gmail.com.
USO Invisible Wounds
While we were waiting for the Dodger game to start on Sunday, we saw this commercial for the USO (United Service Organization) that mentioned PTSD and TBI and immediately checked out the website, USOinvisiblewounds.org. What we found was a series of videos that we could relate to and we thought we should share this resource with you all. Please be advised that the videos may trigger some, so be your best advocate and decide for yourself if you want to view them. Or better yet, share the videos with others so that they can be educated on PTSD and TBI.
The USO website has a series of programs focused on Warrior and Family Care including Physical Health & Recreation, Behavioral Health Support, Family Strengthening Programs, and Education, Employment & Community Reintegration. If you have participated in any of the programs, please share your experience with us by leaving a comment to the blog.
For 70 years, the USO has been providing a tangible way for everyone to say thank you to our troops. I remember my Grandma telling me stories of how volunteered she with the local USO during WWII and danced with soldiers for “dime-a-dance” parties. Adorable in her elder age, she made sure to point out to me that she “got lots of dimes” and was able to donate all of them to the USO causes. More recently, JR remembers coming home and being greeted at the airport by the USO volunteers with smiling faces, hugs, and kind words. It was a great welcome home for him after being in Iraq. Please feel free to leave comments to share your stories with the USO, we’d love to hear them!
The USO website states:
“Thanks to your generosity, the USO fulfills its mission of lifting the spirits of America’s troops and their families. Through the USO, you touch their lives through an extensive range of programs at more than 160 locations in 27 states and 14 countries, and at hundreds of entertainment events each year. Thousands of USO volunteers do everything possible to provide a home away from home for our troops and to keep them connected to the families they left behind.
The USO makes sure your help goes to those who need it the most: troops serving in combat, their families, our wounded warriors and their families, and families of the fallen.
As a nonprofit, non-political organization, the USO is now, and always will be, about our troops. Wherever and whenever they go, the USO will be there, until every one comes home.”
To find your local USO or for more information on their Invisible Wounds PSAs and programs, check out their website at www.uso.org.
~ Nicole
J.R. Presenting “In Our Own Voice”
JR giving a presentation to Master of Social Work students at CSUB.
JR and fellow veteran Chris Allen speaking at the Front Line Conference
Earlier this year, JR was trained by NAMI Kern County as a presenter for the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) program In Our Own Voice. The program is funded through a grant from Eli Lily and Company. Through the training, JR was able to further perfect his public speaking skills and able to structure his story through the program’s format. The In Our Own Voice (IOOV) presentations are presented by two trained participants and consists of sharing personal stories and a NAMI video, with the focus on five areas of discussion – Dark Days, Acceptance, Treatment, Coping Skills, and Successes, Hope & Dreams. Audience members are encouraged to ask questions of the presenters and share their personal stories if they want to. JR has presented three presentations thus far: to Bakersfield College nursing students, at the NAMI Front Line Conference, and to Master of Social Work students at California State University Bakersfield. The presentations are free, but do require an hour minimum to present. The audience reception has been fantastic. JR is very open and encourages the audience to ask questions that they may have been hesitant or nervous to ask a veteran with PTSD. The educational opportunity has been great and audience members walk away with a better understanding of PTSD and the hope for recovery.
If you are located in Kern County, CA and would like JR to provide an IOOV presentation to an organization, school or business, please feel free to contact us at PTSDdiary@gmail.com. You can also contact your local NAMI affiliate to schedule an IOOV presentation in your area.
See below for a video on the In Our Own Voice program:
USC Offers Free Virtual Counseling to Veterans
University of Southern California’s School of Social Work (where Nicole is getting her MSW) is now offering USC Telehealth services through the Center for Innovation and Research on Veterans & Military Families. And right now, they are offering 12 FREE counseling sessions to military personnel, veterans, and their immediate families! You can sign up to receive free, confidential access to services from home or another private location. All you need is a computer, a webcam, and high-speed internet. Spaces are limited, so register today! For more information, contact the program directly at 866-740-6502 or make an appointment online. If you do participate, please email us your review of the program and if you would recommend it to others. Below we have posted the flyer for more information.
Blogging & Getting Organized
With both of us being in school (JR is finishing up his BA in History from CSUB and Nicole is finishing up her MA in Social Work from USC), we haven’t been as organized as we like to be. Previously, we’ve only been posting blogs when we have had time or when an idea struck us. But we’re going to attempt to start posting blogs 3 times a week on Tuesday, Thursdays, & Saturdays. Some may be short, some may be long, but we hope that you will find them educational, enlightening, personal, humorous at times, and helpful. Thank you to everyone who has been reading our blog and/or our social media posts so far 
We also plan on having a few giveaways coming up in the future!
In addition to our blog, we’re organizing where you can find us on the web. We’ll update this list as we add more.
Facebook- www.facebook.com/ThePTSDDiary - We update our FB almost daily with artilces, personal antedotes, & photos. “Like” us!
The PTSD Diary
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Twitter- @PTSDdiary – Follow and tweet us!
Pinterest – http://pinterest.com/ptsddiary/ – Pin us!
Blogger – http://theptsddiary.blogspot.com/ – We’re in the process of updating our Blogger to match this blog.
Feel free to email us at PTSDdiary@gmail.com with questions, concerns, or to share information with us (PTSD, TBI, or military/veteran events, info., organizations, and opportunities only please).
The Hunger Games and PTSD
*UPDATE 4/24/12: Please check out a follow up blog post by VA psychiatrist Ron Deaton that goes into more detail and further exploration of this topic on his blog Paving the Road Back*
The Hunger Games trilogy
Violence, the fear of death, the act of killing, nightmares, alcoholism, confusion, war, the desire to go home …these are often aspects associated with combat PTSD. And they are also part of The Hunger Games book series (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, & The Mockingjay) by Suzanne Collins. I recently read the series and was amazed by the PTSD elements that appeared in the text. The books focus on “The Hunger Games”, where two children from each district are sent to the games to literally fight to the death for the entertainment of the ruling class. The main focus of the books is not PTSD, but the issue does arise after the characters experience trauma.
From the final book - Mockingjay
Suzanne Collins has explained that she wrote the books after watching the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan on TV and then combining it with the American obsession of reality TV. Classified as a young adult book series, the books deal with some heavy topics – did participating in the Hunger Games lead to Haymitch’s alcoholism? Is Peeta’s inability to distiquish between reality and fiction a result of TBI or government testing? How will Katniss deal with the loss of her family and friends, as she also experiences nightmares and flashbacks?
I don’t want to give away too much about the books and upcoming movies. What I hope is that as teenagers and adults read the books and watch the movies (The Hunger Games comes out March 23, 2012 with the rest of the movies coming out in 2013 and 2014), there may be a greater understanding about how traumatic experiences affect people. Yes, the books are fiction, but the subjects are surprisingly real. As we continue to learn more about PTSD, trauma, and the after effects of war, our hope for future generations is that they will continue to educate and advocate for adequate treatments and understanding.
Just as the Hunger Games suggests, our hope for those with PTSD and their loved ones: May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor.
~ Nicole
“Hell and Back Again” and Giveaway Winner
Hell and Back Again
We received our copy for Hell and Back Again last week after it was released on DVD. A current contender for an Academy Award for Best Documentary, the film has already won the 2011 Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize and Cinematography Prize. The cinematography, specifically the footage taken in Afghanistan, is astounding. There is a great bonus feature that shows how director Danfung Dennis filmed the sequences (lots of technical jargon for photographers and film buffs to enjoy). The story focuses mostly on US Marine Sergeant Nathan Harris and his wife Ashley. The couple is so open in the film, giving an intimate look to what wounded warriors and their spouses go through. I don’t think that JR or I could be that open on film and they should be commended for publicly sharing what they deal with on a daily basis. There were several scenes that we could identify with including VA appointments, frustrations and the memories of combat. The film goes back and forth between the footage shot in Afghanistan and footage shot stateside, giving a film version of flashbacks. We enjoyed the documentary and would recommend it to those who are interested in what happens after combat for our wounded warriors and their families. We do caution that some people with PTSD may be triggered and we recommend that you use your best judgment when deciding to watch this documentary or other films. We hope Hell and Back Again will win the Oscar on Feb. 26th!
So let’s get to the exciting part of this post… our Hell and Back Again Giveaway winner!!!!
Congrats to Robert Ledbetter!!! His favorite movie is “Boondock Saints” and his favorite documentary is “Restrepo”.
The winner has been contacted via email and was determined using Random.org. Thank you to everyone who entered! We look forward to doing more giveaways soon!
~ Nicole
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