The PTSD Diary

Two People in Love, Dealing with PTSD/TBI

J.R. honored at local high school baseball game

April 27th, 2013

Yesterday, it was so cool to return to my alma mater Centennial High School for their military appreciation baseball game with Independence High School. J.R. was recommended to be honored at the game for his military service by our friend Chris Allen, a fellow Iraq veteran. The baseball game was the school’s 5th annual “Military Appreciation Game” and we were happy to be included. Centennial High School did a lovely presentation that included speeches, poetry and music, including the National Anthem performed by local veteran Evan Morgan.

One of the presenters, Mike Alexander, wrote a great poem that we thought we would share with you - A Civilian’s Salute to Our Military Heroes

I stand before you feeling unworthy, and a bit nervous,

Because, unlike you, our country I’ve given no service.

Before today’s game, we pause and reflect,

On you, whose duty, it is to serve and protect.

But on the battlefield, our soldier’s, give so much more!

These teams, their goal, to secure a Valley title,

Our soldier’s, your role, is ever so vital!

World Wars I and II, Korea and Viet Nam,

Our Soldiers answered the call of Uncle Sam.

Bosnia, the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan,

We’re so proud of you who serve each woman and man!

A soldier’s family waits at home with much concern,

Will their loved one be safe? When will they return?

Our soliders go to foreign lands, and travel across oceans,

And when you come home, there are plenty of emotions!

At times on arrival, something’s different, no not the same,

Some come home healthy, some injured, even some lame.

Some even pay the ultimate sacrifice; they pay with their life,

Someone’s son, someone’s daughter, maybe husband or wife!

But it is you the solider, that serves our country with pride,

You volunteer for this duty, love of country you don’t hid!

You’ll be all that you ca! Aim high, you’re the few, the proud,

Full speed ahead, it’s an adventure, you shout out loud!

Free speech, life, liberty, you protect our rights,

While in faraway lands, through conflicts and fights!

Though you may not always feel it, while the battlefields you roam,

Know that you’re thought of and prayed for, by us at home!

No words that I read her can properly convey,

How proud of you we are, each and every day!

From the past to the present, there are too many to name,

But as I see it, you’re all in our nation’s Hall of Fame!

So for all that you’ve done, and continue to do for our great nation,

Please accept this small token, a civilian’s salute, our standing ovation!!

Here’s a couple pics from the event:

The MC reading J.R.’s bio.

J.R. with the plaque that was presented to him.

~ Nicole

Changes – For the Better

April 22nd, 2013

Our current motto.

As you may or may not have noticed, we haven’t blogged for over a month and posting on our Facebook and Twitter has been sporadic. Life kind of took over and we just went along with the ride. We’ve been through some recent changes and transitions, but we believe it’s for the better and we’re excited for the future. Here’s a few things that have been going on:
- J.R. graduated from California State University Bakersfield with a degree in History and a minor in Political Science. His formal graduation will be in June and we plan on celebrating with a big beach bash.
- Nicole got sick and had to go to the hospital – she’s okay now, but it really put our priorities in check and reminded us that we have to work together to maintain our health. Long story short, Nicole quit her job and found a position that will fit her better: she starts in May as a MSW Care Coordinator with a local hospital.
- J.R. applied to and was accepted to the University of Southern California’s Master of Social Work program. He’s going to study military social work and hopes to work for the military or VA. He will start the program in May.
- We are also focusing on our health, getting back on Weight Watchers. We’ve blogged about our weight issues before, so time to refocus again.
- It’s been 10 years since J.R. was in Iraq and participated in the Invasion on Baghdad. It was surprisingly smooth this year, as other years have been more of a struggle. We still can’t believe it’s been 10 years!

- We’re also prioritizing The PTSD Diary again so expect to see a surge in our Facebook and Twitter posts, and daily posts here again. We will be doing lots of updates on the website and we have some big plans that we hope to start this year.

Thanks for all your support… it means so much to us!

~ Nicole and J.R.

Inspiration Sunday: Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

March 17th, 2013

We need some luck of the Irish…we’ve been slow to blog again. J.R. is in finals mode finishing up his last semester before he graduates with his Bachelors and Nicole has been sick. But we are trying to get back in the swing of things and thought that some Irish inspiration might just do the trick. Wishing you all luck in the spring season!

*All images can be found on our Pinterest page.

~ Nicole & J.R.

Inspiraton Sunday: 2/24/13 – Oscars

February 24th, 2013

As you may have noticed, we are movie fans. Movies are an escape for us. We go to the theaters, we watch them at home and we even watch them on our laptops or Kindle. We love movie discussions and as you can see from our many movie blogs, we can often relate movies to our own experiences. Each year, we try to see all the Best Picture nominees before the Oscars. This year, with 9 nominees, we fell a bit short: 6/9. We have blogged about Silver Linings Playbook (HERE) and Zero Dark Thirty (HERE), but we also enjoyed Lincoln, The Beast of Southern Wild, Les Misérables, and Argo. So for today’s Inspiration Sunday, we thought we would share some quotes from the Best Picture nominees. We also want to give a good luck shout out to the Best Documentary nominee The Invisible War – check it out if you haven’t seen it yet! Can’t wait to see who wins tonight!

Silver Linings Playbook:

“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday’s my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.”

Lincoln:

“With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

Argo:

“Argo f*#& yourself!”

Les Misérables:

“To love another person is to see the face of God.”

Beast of the Southern Wild:

“I see that I am a little piece of a big, big universe, and that makes it right.”

Django Unchained:

“Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.”

Amour:

“Things will go on, and then one day it will all be over.”

Life of Pi:

“Above all: don’t lose hope.”

Zero Dark Thirty:

“You can’t run a global network of interconnected cells from a cave.”

*You can see all the images on our Pinterest page.

~ Nicole & J.R.

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability & listening to shame

February 11th, 2013

Quote by Brene Brown

I recently became familiar with the social work researcher Brené Brown through her TED talks, where she shares her research, understanding, and experiences with vulnerability and shame. She also shares her experience of going through a breakdown, which we could easily relate to. I am currently reading her first book on my Kindle, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”, and plan on sharing some of the lessons I take away from that book at a later date. The videos posted here are a bit academic and lengthy, but my hope is that you can enjoy her honesty and humor and relate to her discussions.

The following video is her first TED talk: The Power of Vulnerability. The website describes the video as follows:

Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

In response to her first video, Brené Brown was asked to return and continue her discussion by addressing the issues of Listening to Shame. The website describes her second video as:

Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.

Don’t you just love her? We can only hope to be as well-spoken as her when we give presentations. What do you think about vulnerability and shame? Do you agree with Brené Brown’s assessment?

~ Nicole

Inspiraton Sunday: Love

February 10th, 2013

We’re just a couple of old romantics. Yes, love hurts and at times love sucks. But we believe in the power of love to provide hope, forgiveness, strength, and comfort. So on today’s blog entry and in pre-celebration for Valentine’s Day on the 14th, here’s some love quotes to enjoy.

*Images can be found on our Pinterest page.

~ Nicole & J.R

Today, we’ve been together 7 years.

February 9th, 2013

Us in Milwaukee

7 years ago today, we met in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. If you’ve read Our Story, you know that we originally got to know each other after I sent a care package through AnySoldier.com. We communicated via Yahoo messenger and emails during J.R.’s second tour in Iraq. But it wasn’t until Feb. 9, 2006 that we actually met face to face.

Our first picture together in Georgia.

You do crazy things when you’re young. J.R. and his friend Mike drove from Ft. Benning, Georgia, all the way to Milwaukee to meet me. Sounds crazy now, but at the time, it was just exciting to finally meet the pen pal I had been talking to who had been in Iraq. In all honestly, I didn’t really think that we would be where we all today. I figured that we would probably meet once maybe twice and that would be it. But it looks like fate had other plans.

Long story short, we spent the weekend together, surrounded by friends, and got to know each other. It had just snowed, so we even had a chance to go sledding over the weekend. After that, I flew down to Georgia and we went back and forth for six months in a long distance relationship until I moved to Memphis, TN to finish grad school. Later, JR moved to Memphis too, and we’ve been together ever since.

In the 7 years we’ve been together, we’ve had our ups and downs. But over all, it’s been a wonderful adventure and I’m fortunate to say that I’m married to my best friend. I love you J.R. Here’s not just to another 7 years, but 70

~ Nicole

Film Review: “Silver Linings Playbook”

February 8th, 2013

Each year before the Academy Awards (this year they are on Feb. 24th), we try to see all the nominees for Best Picture. One of the nominees, Silver Linings Playbook, opened in limited release and it took a while before in reached our semi-small town. We heard that the film centered around Bradley Cooper as an individual dealing with Bipolar disorder, but knew little else of the film. In fact, we later learned that the film’s director, David O. Russell, has a son diagnosed with bipolar and wanted to make a realistic film to help his son feel less stigmatized (See a great article from The Hollywood Reporter HERE). Since we are more familiar with PTSD than bipolar disorder, we didn’t know if we would related to the film’s portrayal of mental illness. Boy, were we wrong. Yes, the film deals with bipolar, but in reality it shows the struggle that one goes through when diagnosed with a mental illness: the shame and confusion that can occur, the struggle to become stable, and how important the support of family and friends are in the process. And just like the title suggest – when dealing with mental illness, it would be great to just find the playbook that would help us find the silver linings in the situation.

Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro as father and son in Silver Linings Playbook

The film follows Bradley Cooper’s character, Pat, as he leaves a mental institution after a breakdown. As he tries to regain his footing, he moves in with his parents and has hopes to rekindle his relationship with his estranged wife. Moving in with the parents after years of independence is never easy and it’s evident that it’s not easy for Pat to accept either. His parents walk on eggshells around him, trying to keep him calm and prevent another breakdown. Robert DeNiro plays Pat’s dad and the relationship and conversations between son and father are some of the best scenes we’ve seen showing how a family deals with mental illness and how important family support is. Fights ensue, emotions are raised and breakthroughs are made. We don’t want to spoil the film for you, but there is also a beautiful love story featuring the Jennifer Lawrence of Hunger Games fame as a mourning widow dealing with her own issues. Trust us, it’s a journey worth watching.

Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook

There were many aspects of the film we could related to. When dealing with PTSD, emotions change quickly, families feel like they are walking on eggshells or awaiting another breakdown, and the journey is often a difficult road. What the film provides is hope. It shows that yes, the journey is hard, but the struggles can also lead to self-discovery and acceptance. One of our favorite quotes from the film is as follows:

The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, that’s guaranteed, and I can’t begin to explain that, or the craziness inside myself and everybody else but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of everything everyone did for me and I feel like a very lucky guy.

It’s a beautiful film that we recommend and we are rooting for it to win a few Oscars on Feb. 24th. This movie has heart and is a brave and familiar portrayal of mental illness.

~ Nicole and J.R.

Ok, let’s try this again… (and a note from Glenn Close)

February 4th, 2013

A few weeks ago we stated that we were going to start blogging 7 days a week (see that blog here: Getting Our Blog On: 7 Days A Week). And for 1 week we kept that promise…and then life intervened and for two weeks we didn’t do a single blog. Our bad. It wasn’t really intentional but we had a few things going on: stress (work and personal), our basement flooded, one of computers crashed (but the Apple store saved it – YAY!) and we really were just unable to take a break from our lives to sit down and relax enough to blog. BUT – we’re going to try this again and see how we do on round two.

Glenn Close

On another note, we did receive a really cool letter in the mail a couple weeks ago during our mini blogging “break”. Last year, Nicole created a NAMIWalk team partnering with the organization Bring Change to Mind. You can see our blog about that here: NAMIWalks 2012: Team Bring Change to Mind. You can imagine our surprise when we went to get the mail and found a personalized handwritten note from the Bring Change to Mind founder and acclaimed actress Glenn Close. Her words are such an inspiration for us to keep doing what we’re doing and came at a time when we really needed the extra boost. See the letter below:

Handwritten note from Glenn Close

The letter states:

1-20-13

Dear Nicole -

As we enter this New Year, I just want you to know how deeply grateful I am for your inspired leadership in the BC2M NAMIWALK Bakersfield. You honor the entire BC2M community and are a true agent for hope, connection & recovery. I salute you for walking the walk, in the open, for those living with mental illness. Your courage and generosity of spirit is what will banish stigma & prejudice forever. Thank you for all you do. I hope you will lead the team again this year.

Sincere Best Wishes for 2013

Glenn Close

WOW – Thank you Glenn!

~ Nicole & J.R.

Inspiration Sunday: 1/20/13 – Football

January 20th, 2013

It seems like today has been all about football and with the Superbowl coming up on February 3rd, we thought this week’s Inspiration Sunday could focus on inspirational football quotes and images similar to our previous Inspiration Sunday about baseball (see that post HERE). All images can be find on our Pinterest page HERE. Just like a game of football, PTSD can be a battle but worth winning and overcoming in the end. Enjoy!

~ Nicole & J.R.